Thursday, May 19, 2005
dam.
I'm screwed for exams.
flunged geog, a math and e math.
really.
I'l screwed.
and grounded most probably.
dam.
help.
lol.
Boulevard of Broken Dreams1985
express yourself {7:56 PM}
thoughts. lunch at the hub.
"... I need the courage I lack..."
the feeling glooms around me again.
I dont feel engulfed or choked.
but its so thick. this feeling again.
maybe its just nothing. just me kicking up a big fuss
to actually think, I was just flying over the moon last night.
unaccomplished tasks. matters left untouched.
maybe the chocolates will cheer me up.
i dont wanna grow up.
the responsibilities, the consequences to face for not fufilling them.
and people. its so scary. i cant find anyone to trust.
cause no one's being true to me.
I see bits and pieces, dog ears emerging from the sides,
beneath the facade that everyone has in this organization.
why cant they be true. it dawned on me that it seems though
they are blinded by the persue of new believers,
that he have all become such terrific actors.
albe to cry once and laugh the next second.
the chocolates. its taste becoming stale and tasteless to me.
maybe thats why my attitude and feelings to melts display.
no one truely cares. no one to trust. this place is really scary.
I lack faith. I need the faith. I lack the courage, the ability,
the once trust again. What happened that made me forget to trust
people in this organization. I cannot trust their words, their expressions.
I can barely discover any elements to trust in them.
even when going out. I become wary. I feel like a prey.
Please dont come. back off. I just want to be alone.
please. let me off. I'm scared. I want to run. I want to hide.
these words that I write. they are so fake. especially him.
pressure over power me. I've become insignificant. nobody bothers to
spare any effort to remember. I prefer words. speech is not me...
eyes rivited to me. on my back. the meaningless eye stare
becomes a burden.
express yourself {7:37 PM}
